Wednesday night’s Empire had a surprise for viewers when it was revealed that Gabby Sidibe’s character, Becky, had a love interest. This alone can be viewed as a radical shift when so often fat, Black women are completely asexualized in the tradition of a harmful mammy stereotype.
But Empire took it a step further by showing Becky and her bae having sex. This is a radical scene in today’s media landscape, which barely recognizes the humanity of fat Black girls, let alone their sex lives. Popular fat Black female characters like Rasputia, Precious, and Madea all reinforce the idea that fat Black women’s sexuality and desirability exist only as comedy, visible only to be ridiculed.
The internet has already done it’s share to demoralize the scene and further berate fat women with memes like this one.
Thursday, I decided to challenge this narrative by sharing #myfatsexstory and encouraged others to do the same. My hope was that sharing personal sex stories from and about fat black women could make more room in the narrative about our sexuality. I couldn’t stand another day of seeing myself at the butt of a joke and I hoped that it would be an opportunity for honest dialogue and for people to see us more holistically.
What ended up happening was so much more important. Not only were women sharing their fascinating, steamy sex stories. But we were also talking about the pain, shame, and stigma that guides our lives as we try to balance being both fat and sexual.
I still don’t take people seriously when they express that they are attracted to me from being teased/invisible into my 20s #myfatsexstory — Jazmine Walker (@JAZonyaMINE) November 5, 2015
Damn. Y’all can’t imagine how fat black little girls feel. I had to decide if I’d rather be ogled at or made fun of. #myfatsexstory
— •wy@?• (@bantu_naughty) November 5, 2015
We talked about body image and what it meant to be fetishized as fat women.
I’m not here for the fat admirers that want sympathy for loving fat woman. You’re shamed? Try being a fat woman #myfatsexstory — Noelle Black (@missnoelleblack) November 5, 2015
But most importantly we shared our messages of resilience and resistance.
I’m completely in love w myself as a sexual being, but i notice that ppl get upset bc my self concept =/= their view of me #myfatsexstory
— Pank Starburst (@LwiziyenBlaze) November 5, 2015
